How Conditioned Are You?
How much of your life do you live? How much are you living out of your true self and how much is out of conditioning? From the order in which you brush eat dinner then dessert or vice versa to the way in which you brush your teeth, how much of it felt natural the first time you did it, and how much after learning then repeating? I’m flying for the first time in many years and I’m reminded of how much education you need to become a flyer. From knowing where to go when you arrive at the airport to taking your shoes off at check-in security without being told to do so or seeing others do it. As you comfortably sit in your chair flying miles above sea level, do you anxiously scan your periphery for any signs of a stewardess handing out snacks? Do you reach out for whatever he or she gives you because, come on, you paid for it? At the same time, I’m shockingly aware of how I’m contributing to all the consumption as I greedily scarf down my ice cream before starting on the main dish. Would mom have allowed that kind of behavior in our childhood? Surely, the sweets should come after the real food, but is that what I truly want? Who cares, though I sit and wonder how much of what I do is because it’s easier to conform like everyone else. Which of my actions align with who I am and where do I conflict?
It’s funny noticing in ourselves the ways we go against what’s important to us and what we stand for. I imagine Jesus had his imperfections growing up, places he conflicted with society and possibly conformed instead of staying true to his nature. I don’t think even the so-called son of god was perfect all the time, in a way, that we perceive as ‘good’. And so I don’t feel like blaming myself either, as I hand the stewardess my tray of paper, plastic, and metallic trash, metaphorically bound for the mountain of plastic growing out of the sea. I ask myself, isn’t it enough right now that I see and feel this? Years ago, I already went through stages of feeling bad and kicking myself for such things and the hardest thing up until now has been to accept that we’re all a body full of contradictions. Despite that, growth doesn’t come from putting yourself down every time you do. When I’d do that, I diverted my attention from breaking free of those programs to blaming and shaming myself. I think we can all agree that modern man suffers more from the shit he thinks up than what’s healthy and as such he finds himself in another program no better off than where he started.
It’s time we shed the shame and guilt for doing what we do because that’s what we’ve been conditioned to do. With that said, what’s one thing you did today that you’ve been conditioned to do, and does it still serve you?
